Spoof Banner Ads, Silly Advertisements, Dumb Celebrities, Self-Congratulating Fluff, etc.
| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 07/23/2005 |
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Dictators usually LIKE this site, but...
Sadaam Hussein has often been compared to Stalin, Ivan the Terrible and Danielle Steele, which is why it may come as a huge shock that unlike those famed leaders of men, Sadaam hates Shiny Donkey! It all stems from a May '99 posting by "chemAli" in which he bragged that he'd gotten some Furbies real cheap on eBay. Hussein was furious that this insider deal hadn't been revealed to him sooner, and swore that he would never visit ShinyDonkey.com again.
Of course, he still subscribes to the RSS feed, but that's like, totally different. |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 05/17/2005 |
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JuvieTwins.com: Mature Humor in Mature Times
The Juvie Twins ("Alex" / "Dickprint McCumtie" and "Jerry"/"Poopsmear Jones") have amused us for years with their brilliant & inspiring antics. Hailed by The Essential Bathroom Reader as "not even worth the poop Bull uses to draw them," what mischief will those twins get into next? |
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| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 05/17/2005 |
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All The Way To The Bank
No one is quite sure WHY we pay our tech support staff; when they're not mocking customers, they're joking about Star Wars. And when they surf porn it's not the good top shelf stuff, it's the really nasty obesity fetish sites. Seriously, man, no one wants to see that on the way to the coffee machine. |
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| Celebrity Jokes |
| 05/17/2005 |
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Buy my product or I'll club this seal!!!
Some people think Tony Little comes off as a bit crazy but he's actually quite sane. But don't take our word for it; as Tony would say "AIEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 05/17/2005 |
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WARNING: Some Blogs May Give Off a Foul Odor
Chris Rock knows his sh*t and he hates this site. Maybe you should visit http://www.aTALLdrinkofwater.com/ for something less low-brow. |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 05/17/2005 |
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The World Is A Donkey
Young Billy Corgan was a strapping, well-tanned lad who loved rainbows and butterflies. But one day it all came crashing down when he clicked a sneaky "Make This My Homepage" link on ShinyDonkey.com. Now, years later, his soul has literally been sucked dry, drained of all hope and love of life. Let this be a lesson to you: never, ever visit this site. |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 05/17/2005 |
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Man, Feel That Iron Grip Handshake
Burt Reynolds refused to do a promo for ShinyDonkey.com without a large up-front fee, so we sent an intern to the thrift store to buy him something nice. One weathered red cap later, Shiny D has won itself another rousing endorsement! |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 05/06/2005 |
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Vonage or Bonage?
Vonage has an entire advertisting campaign built around grainy pictures of hot girls looking longingly at something. 10 bucks says the head of their advertising department designed porn sites in the '90s. |
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| Douchestradamus |
| 05/06/2005 |
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Douchestradamus Predicts #6
"My hairpiece will be cast as "Donald Trump's Hair" in an upcoming film." |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 05/06/2005 |
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Michael Keaton is still #1
Michael Keaton was recently voted "Hottest Dude in America," beating out other hot young celebrities like Ashton Kutcher and Michael Caine. Asked why he was so damn hot, Keaton explained, "It's probably my crazy eyes -- I make really crazy eyes and gesture a lot when I get excited. Also, chicks dig the hair." |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 05/06/2005 |
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Vin Diesel & The Case of the Bad Actor
Vinford Jefferson Diesel heard his calling at age 16, enrolling in the Julliard School of Fine Arts to hone his craft. Young Vinford studied under the legendary Shakespearean actor Tobias Bingford and soon joined the National Shakespeare Touring Company as Man #4. Sick of being typecast as "the brainy guy," Vinford has now turned his attention to film. If Sean Penn were to meet him, he might agree that Vin Diesel is one of the finest young actors working today. |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 05/06/2005 |
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Oh Goldie...
FACT or FICTION: At one time, Goldie Hawn was once considered "attractive." |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 04/11/2005 |
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The Blunchblack of Blotre Blame
From the makers of Blackula and Blackenstein comes the next great Disney Blacksploitation masterpiece! |
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| Douchestradamus |
| 03/09/2005 |
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Douchestradamus Predicts #5
"One day, I will make eye contact with a woman and not get sprayed with mace." |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 03/09/2005 |
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ShinyDonkey.com: #1 Site of Future Girlfriends!
ShinyDonkey.com is proud to announce that we've finally picked up the endorsement of the often overlooked "Kid Blount." I hope his future girlfriends like jokes about 11 year olds and guys named Bull, 'cause that's all they're getting! |
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| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 03/08/2005 |
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Tech Support 3
Our skilled technicians will be happy to fix your problems... all you need to do is give them a crash course on your native language, as they only speak Mandarin. |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 03/03/2005 |
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Chez Nick's - 0 out of 5 Stars!!!
A note from the head chef:
"Chez Nick's offers a wide variety of dishes but our specialty is meat!" |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 03/03/2005 |
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Hilary Rodham Clinton and Bill's IE History
Hilary's memory tends to sugar coat the details, but one memory is crystal clear. On one particular Saturday night of web-surfing for "Lindsay Lohan" and "Paris Hilton" sites her husband stumbled upon Shiny Donkey. And while this site has absolutely nothing to do with XXX or "pr0n," there is a certain offensive quality that tends to induce disgust, especially in female visitors. |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 03/03/2005 |
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Crafty Fake Alert Box
Whether it's through boredom, ignorance or sheer accident, someone somewhere is clicking on these ads enough to make them worth producing. |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 02/17/2005 |
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Meet the Schlongsteins
At long last, the makers of Meet the Parents and Meet the Fockers bring you Meet the Parents 3: Meet the Schlongsteins! Just when you thought the brow couldn't be lowered, Ben Stiller finds a way. If you like jokes about accidentally using spooge for hair gel, this is the MUST SEE movie of the year!!! |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 02/04/2005 |
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I Club Huckabees
From the makers of I Heart Huckabees and I Diamond Huckabees comes the third exciting chapter in this oddly titled series. Featuring an all star cast and the first non-Porn acting role by one of Shiny Donkey's very own! |
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| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 02/01/2005 |
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Associant Holmes Cracks The Case
After just seconds of investigating ShinyDonkey.com with his trusty web browser, master sleuth Associant Holmes deduced that "Shinydonkey.com sucks major balls." |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 02/01/2005 |
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Gay Banner Exchange
Be the talk of the gay community by promoting your website and/or product at the Gay Banner Exchange! Remember: if you don't find it here, it's not gay! |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 01/31/2005 |
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P Diddy loves Dum Dums
Uh, uh yeah dum dum dum! Dum dum dum, y'all. Yeah yeah yeah!
Coming soon: Puffy endorses Kit Kat, y'all! |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 01/31/2005 |
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Have You Made Vacation Plans?
Just when it seems all hope is lost, don't forget:
Suicide is always an option. |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 01/28/2005 |
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Jon Stewart Knows Dick
Take it from Jon: political talk shows and websites like ShinyDonkey.com are hurting America. |
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| Celebrity Jokes |
| 01/24/2005 |
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It Turns Out Asians Eat Dogs
Lucy Liu is Asian;
Asians eat dogs;
You do the math, hotshot. |
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| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 01/24/2005 |
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May I Being Helping You, My Main Man?
After receiving numerous complaints that our "all babe" technical support staff knew nothing about "computers" or "tech support," we laid off our entire staff and outsourced the whole operating to India! Now you'll still get lousy tech support -- but at half the cost to us! |
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| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 01/24/2005 |
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Derp!
Studies have proven that showing pictures of this woman to test subjects increases annoyance levels by 86% and "fist balling" by 152% Thanks to a grant from the Alex Santantonio Immaturity Foundation, Shiny Donkey visitors have a chance to serve this woman lunch -- a delicious knuckle sandwich!!! |
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| Douchestradamus |
| 01/19/2005 |
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Douchestradamus Predicts #4
Mathemeticians will finally prove:
Purple Glasses
+ Bad Wig
____________
Sad, Sad Life |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 01/19/2005 |
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Odds of Winning: 1 in 38,004,384,028
Well, you were THIS close to winning the mystery prize, didn't you? And we really thought you had it in you win this time - f***ing LOSER! |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 01/17/2005 |
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Lure chicks to your pool with the X10!
The X10 camera's initial advertising campaign was so incredibly successful at annoying the piss out of 90% of the web users, it single-handedly created an entire industry of "pop up blockers!" Thank you, X10, we all need more friends like you! |
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| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 01/15/2005 |
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Bootlickers Unite!
When the Apes took over Earth, ShinyDonkey.com was the first website to declare full allegiance to "whoever won the war."
Now that's balls. |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 01/15/2005 |
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Kid Rock rocks Shiny D
Kid Rock has never visited Google, he doesn't know what eBay is and he has never heard of "Windows."
Actually, he's more of a Linux man. |
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| Douchestradamus |
| 01/15/2005 |
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Douchestradamus Predicts #3
"By the year 2046, I will have kissed a girl." |
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| Douchestradamus |
| 01/15/2005 |
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Douchestradamus Predicts #2
"Life will be discovered on Mars, but their women won't date me eithere." |
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| Douchestradamus |
| 01/15/2005 |
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Douchestradamus Predicts #1
"One Day, my appearance will be considered 'not sad.'" |
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| Celebrity Jokes |
| 01/15/2005 |
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GET MILK OR DIE
P. Diddy's "Vote or Die" campaign was so successful that the folks at the Dairy Council decided to rework their "Got Milk?" slogan using slightly more aggressive language.
So now with a new slogan and a spokesman with real street cred, the Dairy council urges you to getcho ass some milk before Puffy busts a cap in it! |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 01/14/2005 |
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Usher Keeps It Real
The Internet is for porn -- so what the #*&$ are you doing at this site, reject? The boobs.com's of the world beckon you... |
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| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 01/14/2005 |
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Shiny Donkey Technical Support #1
If you are experiencing any difficulties with this website, we encourage you to contact our technical support girl, Claire. She doesn't know much about the internet, but she's real bubbly and loves talking on the phone! Call now! |
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| Fake Advertisement |
| 01/07/2005 |
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Rogain for Women: a little TOO strong
For the foxy lady in your life comes Rogaine for Women (from the makers of Rogaine for Men and Pitt-Steele Silver Bullets). One evening each month, your lady will have beautiful, lustrous hair all over her body -- and if she catches your scent, odds are she'll eviscerate you and feast on your internal organs by the pale moon light! |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 01/04/2005 |
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Out of Sync
Lance Bass knows mediocrity when he sees it -- hell, there are 4 mirrors in his master bathroom alone. So take it from him, "ShinyDonkey.com sucks." |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 01/04/2005 |
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Rosie's Stamp of Approval
She may hate the magazine that bears her name, but ROSIE loves the Shiny Donkey. |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 01/04/2005 |
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Paris Hilton's Home Page
Take it from Paris Hilton: her internship as a senior web developer taught her that web design is as easy as cursing at your maid. She could totally design something better than this site. Rest assured, it would be "hot." |
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| Movie Quotes for the Ages |
| 12/24/2004 |
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Al Pacino detects the Scent of a Woman
"Mmm mmm, Al Pacino, do you detect the... Scent of a Woman!" |
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| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 12/23/2004 |
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Least Popular Searches on Yahoo!
Coming in at #4,395,293 :
"Shiny Donkey" |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 12/23/2004 |
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The Internet for Geezers
The surgeon general (and the old bastard featured in this ad) recommend that senior citizens do not click on ShinyDonkey.com -- it may induce nausea, eye rolling and groans. |
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| Shiny Donkey Related |
| 12/23/2004 |
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Support Gay Marriage, You Bigot
"Shinydonkey.com... 300,000 happy couples and counting!" |
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| Movie Quotes for the Ages |
| 12/23/2004 |
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Adam Sandler knows Spanglish
"La cuenta, Adam Sandler, it looks like you finally learned... Spanglish!" |
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| Movie Quotes for the Ages |
| 12/23/2004 |
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Jessica Tandy eats Fried Green Tomatoes
"My word, Jessica Tandy, these are tasty... Fried Green Tomatoes!" |
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| Movie Quotes for the Ages |
| 12/23/2004 |
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Rob Schneider is The Animal
"Well, well, Rob Schneider, medical science proves that you truly are... the Animal!" |
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| Movie Quotes for the Ages |
| 12/23/2004 |
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Mel Gibson is The Patriot
"Well, well, Mel Gibson, I always suspected that you were... the Patriot!" |
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| Celebrity Jokes |
| 12/23/2004 |
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Jimmy Smits and Rick Schroeder, meet Joe Piscopo
Leaving NYPD Blue to launch their movie careers was risky, but who's laughing now??
Probably Mark Paul Gosselar. Or Screech. |
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| Celebrity Jokes |
| 12/23/2004 |
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Lindsay Lohan Has Boobs
Yes, it's true: Lindsay Lohan has boobs. What's more, she's absolutely devastated that everyone is talking about them. I mean please, people, why can't you just back off and let her focus on the craft? |
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| Non-Endorsements |
| 12/22/2004 |
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Ben Affleck Is Gay
Ben recently dropped by the Shiny Donkey Studios and left reenergized -- feeling both more secure in his sexuality and more confident in his decision making. After all, if this site sucks massive wang, why can't he? |
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