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* BREAKING NEWS *  9 out of 10 frustrated office-seekers recommend cancer instead of shinydonkey.com

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Non-Endorsements
05/17/2005       The World Is A Donkey
Young Billy Corgan was a strapping, well-tanned lad who loved rainbows and butterflies. But one day it all came crashing down when he clicked a sneaky "Make This My Homepage" link on ShinyDonkey.com. Now, years later, his soul has literally been sucked dry, drained of all hope and love of life. Let this be a lesson to you: never, ever visit this site.
 
Non-Endorsements
05/17/2005       Man, Feel That Iron Grip Handshake
Burt Reynolds refused to do a promo for ShinyDonkey.com without a large up-front fee, so we sent an intern to the thrift store to buy him something nice. One weathered red cap later, Shiny D has won itself another rousing endorsement!
 
Fake Advertisement
05/06/2005       Vonage or Bonage?
Vonage has an entire advertisting campaign built around grainy pictures of hot girls looking longingly at something. 10 bucks says the head of their advertising department designed porn sites in the '90s.
 
Douchestradamus
05/06/2005       Douchestradamus Predicts #6
"My hairpiece will be cast as "Donald Trump's Hair" in an upcoming film."
 
Non-Endorsements
05/06/2005       Michael Keaton is still #1
Michael Keaton was recently voted "Hottest Dude in America," beating out other hot young celebrities like Ashton Kutcher and Michael Caine. Asked why he was so damn hot, Keaton explained, "It's probably my crazy eyes -- I make really crazy eyes and gesture a lot when I get excited. Also, chicks dig the hair."
 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 



"And remember, a shiny new donkey for whoever brings me the head of Colonel Montoya..."
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